AP

By Joe Bilello – Fox News

Once again, the federal government has set its sights and your money on solving a problem that doesn’t exist. Apparently, the rich, white man has dominated America’s farmland for too long and the federal government is seeking to remedy this abomination of justice. If Americans only knew how much better corn tasted when not harvested by a straight, white male.

On August 18, the U.S. Department of Agriculture partnered with the Drake School of Law in Des Moines, Iowa to host an LGBT “Rural Summit.” One goal of the summit was to “promote the role of lesbian farmers as part of its ‘rural pride’ campaign”, according to the Washington Free Beacon. Another, and much more important goal, is to change the perception of what it means to be a farmer in America away from the “white, rich male.”

The USDA is spot-on about Americans’ perception of the “rich” rural farmer, right? After milking the cows and cleaning the slop from the pigs’ trough, most farmers discard their denim overalls in favor of a top hat and monocle and have their chauffeurs drive them to yet another black tie affair at the local country club.

What exactly is “rural pride”? The USDA explains:

“Contrary to widely held myths that the LGBT community is largely living in affluent metropolitan areas, studies show a very different and more realistic picture of the LGBT community. For a number of reasons, many people in the LGBT community choose to live, work, and raise their families in the rural communities that the U.S. Department of Agriculture is proud to serve.”

The USDA offical website claims that the summits “will offer a unique opportunity for USDA and other federal agencies to share information relating to policies, programs, and services that exist to protect, promote and strengthen LGBT rural communities. Issues ranging from rural housing loans, community facility grants and bullying will be discussed.”

Because gay girls just wanna have fun too, 1980s pop star and LGBT activist Cyndi Lauper has joined the fight for justice and is working with the USDA to address the hardships of the gay farmer.

USDA Secretary Tom Vilsack, the keynote speaker at Thursday’s event, told attendees that he is proud of the “amazing cultural transformation” that has taken place during his tenure with the federal bureaucracy.

“Oftentimes when we think of this community, we think of an urban-centric community,” claimed Vilsack, according to the Cedar Rapids Gazette. “But the reality is that there are many who live in rural areas and many of those who live in rural areas are challenged economically.”

Can we assume that only the gay and lesbian farmers are “challenged economically”? The rich, white men are doing just fine?

Naomi Goldberg, research and policy director for the Movement Advancement Project, also spoke at the summit and according to the Gazette, she believed it was important to break certain perceptions about the LGBT community living in rural areas.

“We have this perception that LGBT people leave rural areas and I think that’s not actually true”, Goldberg said. “Breaking the stereotype that LGBT people don’t live outside of cities is really important.”

Can you think of a more important way to spend your tax dollars than breaking the stereotype of the urban lesbian?

So, what is this really about? Is the oppression of the gay farmer really an epidemic that needs to be addressed by the federal government? Or is it merely another attempt at social engineering and a misguided if not deranged view of social justice?

The left has destroyed America’s cities. They are currently working tirelessly to destroy the suburbs. But before that task is complete, they have decided to simultaneously go after the last bastion of more traditional conservatism in America – the place where people “cling to their God and guns” – rural America. The USDA’s description of the traditional American farmer is the best way the left knows how to sufficiently demonize individuals in the eyes of progressive Americans – “rich, white men.” They are going to do everything in their power to see that rich, white men don’t undeservedly dominate yet another facet of American life.

If it weren’t for the federal government and social justice warriors, we might never know that problems like this even exist. And now that we know, no one cares. When eating dinner, does anyone other than Cyndi Lauper actually care about the race or sexual orientation of the individuals who produced their peas and carrots? I didn’t think so.